Really they’re going to blow up Mt. Rushmore?

And it took Greg Brady and hour to shoot the thing? 

Danny Partridge might die.

I liked Keith better anyway.

BIGFOOT! Take my hand! *kasplode*

Well, we didn’t need Lincoln’s head anyway. What has he ever done?

Wait… Is there more than one bigfoot?

Have I been paying that little attention?

I bet Mega Python vs Gateroid would be more entertaining, but I’d probably be skinned alive if caught up watching it.

Is every Syfy monster bulletproof? I guess once the army is called in it would be a short movie if they weren’t.

Nooooo! Not… Girl-Whose-Name-I-Didn’t-Bother-to-Learn!

You know, they keep seeing his footprints…

But I notice, as he lumbers through the snow, he’s not actually leaving any.

I really shouldn’t expect Syfy monsters to interact with their environment anymore.

How to tell a bigfoot print from a human print.

Deeper anterior depression.

No arch.

About twelve times the size.

The differences are subtle.

“I don’t see anything!”

It’s a thirty foot tall monster on a river bank not forty feet from you.

For a giant lumbering ape monster that moves with the grace and stealth of a drunken titan, Bigfoot is apparently incredibly inconspicious.

For such a large animal moving so quickly he sure isn’t covering much ground.

They just reeeally don’t want to animate those water splashes, do they?

I’m so glad the National Guard is setting up a perimeter that requires ID checks.

Everyone know Bigfoot never remembers his license.

So they’re standing there, with nothing to block their view except porta-potties, and watch, shocked, as a girl is thrown over them… Somehow not noticing the thirty foot tall ape monster standing there until that moment.

Makes sense.

LOOK OUT ALICE COOPER

Did Alice Cooper just say, “hootenanny?”

While wearing a plastic snake?

This movie may have more promise than I thought.